BEAST MODE

My landlord is my follower especially at the end of the month. So, this might be the last thing I write as a resident since I am writing about the better half (I don't use the name honey anymore as I have clearly suffered. Check out for yourself at  Honey and BMW. You see, attributed to laziness, I live near the gate and next to the residential for the home owner which comes with an equal share of drama. The kind of drama that interrupts the lazy Saturday morning sleep. The kind of drama that gets you cursing on Sunday morning. Why the heck can't she speak lowly. It's not like I contributed to whatever was done neither am I here to intern as 'kofi Annan'. The kind of drama I last experienced during my .....(is it O or A levels) - nkt! 8-4-4; during my highschool days when doing some literature. This kind of craze and drama reminds me of 'Utengano and Mama Jeni. I am hating  every bit of this but don't they say there is always a silver lining.

My silver lining comes in form of a lady. Yes, let your imagination free. It's a Friday.For a change, I got home early. The week has taken a toll on me and I just want to lay low. To keep the movement minimal. Lights off, lying on my back listening to some Friday musical mix show Kenya New Kiss. I am not expecting anybody and so when the knock comes, I do quick arithmetic on the possibilities. It takes 8 horse power to get me off my back.
Lights on, some tee on just in case and I open the door. "Do you know Omondi? He lives in this block." The blank stare says it all. I know I have neighbours but they might be Aliens for all I know. "Huvaa suti suti akienda job" she continues to shed light on the Matter. She made my night but I want to scream at her (It's a Friday for Pete's sake! Who does a suit on Friday, on a dress down Friday) but for being modest I direct her to gatekeeper. He is better equipped at that.
So today I met the duo and thus the Omondi. Damn! He has it all going on for him. Flamboyant and in a suit again. Even the air around him clicks with static charge. Larger than life! Beast mode!
The only thing that would this guy and all the Luos is a Cadillac. Cadillac Escalade!


Picture courtesy www.2017suv.net
15/22 mpg fuel economy, 8-speed shiftable automatic, V8 cylinders, 7 capacity seating,4 20 horsepower @ 5600 rpm.
8 -way power driver seat, 8 -way power passenger seat, Bucket front seats, Height adjustable driver seat, Height adjustable passenger seat, Multi-level heating driver seat,Multi-level heating passenger seat, Driver seat with power adjustable lumbar support
Passenger seat with power adjustable lumbar support.

Omondi is the kind of guy you find at X/S millionaire club. I believe it was named by a Luo. Not just a millionaire, X/S millionaire. Have you been out with a Luo guy (make it worse if they are five)? Then the DJ plays Kanungo or Bank Otuch. And they are intoxicated. The talk my friend is on a league of legends. Not cheap talk; Big talk.
And the drinks flow and more keep coming and they settle the bill.
Luos are big fish (pun intended). Octo, Obama & Lumumba Pato. Have you read of Biko and Magunga. Do I need to talk about Raila or the late Fidel (his soul rest in peace)? Have you met my friends.
Ask Ladies who have dated or is dating a luo, these guys live large. It's always beast mode but they don't stamp. They make good friends great countrymen. Wait until you meet them outside the Nation, Thailand let's say.
Let's celebrate the Luos in our life and our country. Luopeans Oyee!  Let's celebrate Cadillac.
NB: Cadillac Escalade 2017 is in making.